highmiranda:

why is slut even an insult i mean i’m getting laid and you’re not so

I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.

(Source: lets-go-lesbos)


fasterfood:

did obama just start a rap battle with jay-z

(Source: zeldasboyfriend)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: wish on a shooting star that you will die and then tell someone your wish so it won’t come true. now you are immortal

leeeeverett:

today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face

otterparade:

cityofbadass:

Do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all the expressions on your face?

“And then there’s this asshole”

(Source: thesnowinthedarkness)


(Source: fetishmode)

3ridan:

well i already know im going to hell

at this point it’s really go big or go home

wartortles:

sometimes u just need ur genitals massaged by someones mouth u know